Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
