yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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