I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
