I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
