Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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