i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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