They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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