There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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