My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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