She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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