Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
