i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
