i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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