Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
there was a trapeze. enough said
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
