He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
