Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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