i just google imaged poop.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
we should paint friendship bongs
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
