Tell her she can't have a vagina
you guys were way drunker than both of me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize