I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
