There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
