i don't like sucking hair
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
