Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
