ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
