omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
