come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
