Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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