i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
