awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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