whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize