I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
