No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
