Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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