Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I will be naked everywhere
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
