Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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