On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
