Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
