She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize