I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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