You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
