My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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