just tell him i said nine months
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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