i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize