i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
