I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Screwed.edu
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
