are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
