i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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