Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize