I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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