you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
