you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize