Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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