I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
