Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
this will be a night to untag.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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