I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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