i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
