I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
