I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
