hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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