Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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