What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize