we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
