please come you make the beer taste better
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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