I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
