Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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