he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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