batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize