Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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