Dual....:-)
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
