also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
