No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
